Holding on to Hope as a Caregiver

For a change of pace, I will be sharing someone else’s story. I know I get a lot of readers who enjoy reading about my cancer journey. This time, however, the story is from the view of a caregiver. Any survivor knows that their caregivers are their rock when they are going through surgeries and treatments. This story is from Cameron:

“I never imagined being a caregiver to someone with cancer, but on November 21, 2005, my wife, Heather, was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma. The diagnosis came as a shock to both of us. We were still celebrating the birth of Lily, our first child who was born just a little more than three months before Heather’s diagnosis. Our time of great joy and excitement at the birth of our first child quickly gave way to a time of fear and uncertainty when we received the news.

Without realizing it, I became a caregiver the instant the doctor broke the news. As he explained treatment options, Heather was shocked and unable to comprehend what was happening. The doctor laid out several options, and waited for Heather to express interest in one. However, she was paralyzed by shock and fear, and I knew she needed help. I chose for her, and we took Heather to a specialist in Boston where she began her treatment.

The next few months were a whirlwind, emotionally and financially. After her diagnosis Heather was unable to work. I reduced my hours to care for Lily, and to travel back and forth to Boston to be with Heather during treatment. I was often afraid that Heather would not survive and I would be left alone to raise Lily by myself. On more than one occasion, I broke down crying under the strain and pressure of our situation. However, I never let Heather see me in my moments of weakness. I did my best to hide my fear from Heather because I wanted to be strong for her.

I did have help from our family, friends and even strangers. I can’t thank them enough for their kindness, which included everything from well wishes to offers of much needed financial help. I know from experience that caregivers who are offered assistance should always accept it. Friend and family want to help, so let them. There is no room for pride or stubbornness when it comes to fighting cancer.

The life of a caregiver is exhausting. There are no breaks, and quitting is not an option. Holding onto hope is often the only thing that can keep you going. Allow yourself to have bad days, but never give up hope for better ones.

It’s been seven years since Heather’s diagnosis, and she is cancer free. After undergoing radical treatment including surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, she has defied the odds and beaten mesothelioma.

While caring for Heather, I learned how to juggle priorities and to fit more into my schedule than I ever thought possible. In 2007, I returned to school to study Information Technology. Apparently, my caregiving skills translated well into my studies. I graduated with honors and was the graduation speaker for my class. I talked about the importance of believing in yourself to accomplish your goals. I never would have imagined that I would be there, giving that speech. But once you’ve been a caregiver, you learn how treasured life and time are, and how holding onto hope is the most important thing you can do. Heather and Lily cheered me on during my speech, and that was the greatest reward of all.”

I’d like to thank Cameron for sharing his and his family’s story. If anyone else (survivor or caregiver) would like to share their journey on my blog, please email me atlionkingfanatic@netscape.net!